“Being England captain becomes a big part of your identity. It’s an all-encompassing job. You’re always thinking about it, even if you’re on holiday.”
Heather Knight was speaking at the start of the 2024 summer, her ninth as England captain. It would be her last.
An awful winter, including an early exit from the T20 World Cup and a clean-sweep humiliation in the Ashes, meant change was inevitable. Not even a skipper as successful, tenured and respected as Knight was safe.
If being replaced by Nat Sciver-Brunt meant one part of Knight’s identity was lost, there was another that had lain dormant, ready to be revived and unleashed.
Warning: This piece contains language that some readers may find offensive.
“I used to have an alter ego when I first got into the team,” Knight tells BBC Sport. “Shitbag Shelley.
“That prankster, rebellious side got supressed when I was in a leadership position.
“The girls didn’t know I wasn’t captain anymore. When I sent a message out, I said ‘watch out, Shitbag Shelley is back’.”
For Knight (and possibly Shelley), the warning sent to her team-mates meant one decision had been taken.
Some leaders find it hard to return to the ranks. Knight had been captain for more of her England career than not. In that same interview from last summer, she expressed uncertainty over whether she could eventually play under another skipper.
When push came to shove, Knight found it “pretty easy” to continue playing for England, but a further setback was just around the corner. Three games into Knight’s new normal, a T20 against West Indies at Chelmsford in May, she suffered a hamstring injury that put her out for the rest of the summer.
“I was just getting my head around what not being captain looked like, embracing the extra freedom, then bang, injured,” says Knight.
“In a high emotional state, you think ‘do I want to do this rehab, do I want to carry on playing’. That was a very fleeting thought, an emotional reaction to being injured.”
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