THE GOLDEN DISCOURSE
Whether it was Archimedesâ€s eureka moment in the bath, Isaac Newtonâ€s in the orchard or Doc Brownâ€s in the toilet while hanging a clock, many of the worldâ€s most important discoveries have been made in the most unlikely locations. It is a list to which we can now presumably add the recording studio in which Rio Ferdinand presents his what-it-says-on-the-tin Rio Ferdinand Presents podcast. Of course, in discovering the principle of buoyancy, the law of universal gravitation or how best to transform a sports car with gull-wing doors into a time machine, the aforementioned scientists all chanced upon inspired moments of enlightenment that had never previously occurred to anybody else. When the lightbulb lit up over Steven Gerrardâ€s head while in conversation with Rio, he had clearly just figured out something rival fans have known for the best part of 30 years. Not so much a mic-drop as a penny-drop moment, it finally dawned on the former England international why the team with which he won 114 caps repeatedly failed to live up to expectation.
“We were all egotistical losers,†confessed the man who played in six major tournaments for England without ever reaching a semi-final. “I watch the telly now and I see Jamie Carragher sitting next to Paul Scholes and they look like theyâ€ve been best mates for 20 years. And I see Carragherâ€s relationship with Gary Neville and they look like theyâ€ve been mates for 20 years. Iâ€m probably more close and friendly with you [Ferdinand] now than I ever was when I played with you for 15 years [for England]. So why didnâ€t we connect when we were 20, 21, 22, 23? Was it ego? Was it rivalry? It was down to the culture within England. We werenâ€t friendly or connected.â€
The clique culture to which Gerrard alludes was well documented at the time, with players confined to an opulent but restrictively cloistered environment in which separate groups dictated by club allegiance largely kept to themselves while on international duty. The presence of these factions made it impossible for players to forge the kind of bond that might have led to the inflated egos of the Sven-Göran Eriksson era being replaced with the inflatable unicorns of more recent years. It was an open secret that players from Liverpool, Chelsea and Manchester United didnâ€t get along with each other. “I hated it,†said Gerrard of being away with England. “I didnâ€t enjoy it. Hated the [hotel] rooms. In my early days, Iâ€d have days where I was down, like low down. Like Iâ€m in this room for seven hours, what am I going to do? There was no social media, we didnâ€t have a DVD player or anything. Channel 1 to 5 or whatever it was on TV. I used to get low and down. I used to love the games. I used to love playing for England. I was really proud. I used to enjoy the training sessions but it was 90 minutes a day and then I was just on my own.â€
While Gerrardâ€s sense of isolation at a time when he should have been living his very best life is nothing if not bleak, his recollections do raise an interesting question regarding what might have been in a less toxic England environment. “Iâ€ve got a big frustration when I look back at England that we never did better,†Gerrard added. “I think itâ€s a combination of different things, but one of the big things for me was we werenâ€t a team. We were a group of individuals with talent and it never works like that.†Football Daily looks forward to the second part of the interview, in which Gerrard is expected to reveal that Pope Leo XIV wears a funny hat and bears occasionally defecate in the woods.
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QUOTE OF THE DAY
“I would like to play like [Jürgen] Klopp, I like [Pep] Guardiolaâ€s style, but you need to be realistic … We want to work really hard and with all the issues we have got we have to be together†– Nobby Solano has rocked up as the head coach of Pakistan so Tusdiq Din tracked him down for this entertaining chat.
Nobby Solano in Lahore, earlier. Photograph: Haider Ali/The Guardian
Iâ€ve been reading the acute tactical analysis in all media outlets of the trend for taking supremely well-thought out kick-offs where the ball is played to the corner touchline, enabling an early high press, etc etc. I recall that when John Beck was manager of Cambridge United and employed this exact tactic, his team was derided for hoofing the game back to the Stone Age. And if memory serves, Beck was even more tactically astute – he kept the grass in the corners of the Abbey long to keep the ball in play. When do we get Jonathan Wilsonâ€s treatise on Nu Beckball and the enduring genius of Charles Hughes?†– Michael Hann.
I only read Big Website of course (ahem) but while I was catching up on the latest edition of Architectural Digest, I came across ‘Soccer Player Ben Chilwellâ€s Home Brings California-Cool to Surrey, Englandâ€. The certainly-in-no-way-puff piece breathlessly states that ‘the English national team memberâ€s house channels midcentury modern and LA contemporary in equal measureâ€. Rather wonderfully, it also quotes Chilwell as saying that ‘I love my sleep, so being two minutes away from where we train was a big drawâ€, which must be of great comfort to the player who signed for Strasbourg at the start of September†– Noble Francis.
Re: strange football lavatory stories (yesterdayâ€s Football Daily). On a wall in our loo is a framed 25-share certificate confirming investment in Berwick Rangers, the club based in England but playing in Scotlandâ€s Lowland League. When I bought the shares they cost £1 each. Iâ€ve failed in my inquiries into how much theyâ€re worth now. My wife has her view†– Nigel Robson.
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